Later, we'll have less pretentious stuff. I intend to sort these by levels of pretentiousness (also stuff like the Mountain Lightning series will all be sorted that way as well)--a level which will be completely arbitrary and, for the most part, completely useless to you. More experimental stuff will have a higher pretension level than something more traditional.
I posted this a while back somewhere else, but I'm irrationally fond of it, so I'm making it the first non-announcement thing to be posted.
The Secret is In this Story
Aaron Poppleton
There's a secret to not dying did you know? Nobody can do it because of the trick involved but that's okay we aren't supposed to know the secret anyway. Look closely because otherwise you won't know the secret and then you won't even be able to try it will you—that would be completely worthless to both of us, and if there's one thing I hate. It's wasting time.
There was a man you see. He thought to himself that I do not want to die. So he made a decision, which is what you do. When you come to a conclusion, you decide whether or not you're going to do something about it. He wanted to do something about it. The dying thing. He didn't like the idea. So he went looking for the secret (which you don't know yet but you might later on).
Devil was useless, perhaps due to his nonexistence. But that might not have been a problem. Maybe it was, though. Either way it didn't help the man at all. He wasted his time, the silly thing. With looking to Devils. Probably it was a silly idea anyway. The man went on, because that's what you do. On quests. For immortality (which is what the secret deals with, you know. Of course you do (no secret yet)).
Books are a good start he thought. Perhaps he should have started with them but he didn't. Which was silly, but he knew that now. The library didn't have anything under 'immortality.' Frustrating but creativity is important. The man knew creativity somewhat he supposed that it was a good place to start. Even though it wasn't where he started (planning would have helped him out more I think). Libraries have the secret but they don't tell you that.
There was nothing for it. A lack of immortality section in the library made it necessary to reeval56h666666g
'yBV “? First he had to feed the cat (cats know but they don't want to tell you. They also don't use it, because they don't mind). Then reevaluate his plan. Fiction seemed a good jumping off point. Secrets usually hide in fiction when they don't want you to know them.
So he read a lot of books (maybe too many but you can never read too many).
The secret was in front of him but he didn't know what it was yet. He didn't know because he was looking to hard.
The secret is to not look hard because otherwise you won't find it.
He didn't know but any fiction has the secret (and you know more than him now). Have you found it yet? No, it eludes me still. I guess you'll die like the rest of us then.
Nobody's pulled it off but maybe that's not true.
Fine he said I'll just refuse to die. This is pretty effective but it doesn't get you as far. He's still refusing but he won't last forever because that's not the secret.
He's still looking but there's too much thought to it. Simplify.
Earlier we said all books have the secret but that's only half true because some books are better than others. But nobody's pulled it off because time is a long time and we can't tell yet. Maybe someone will go to forever and verify but nobody has yet and that is too bad because here's the secret.
The secret is breathe slowly pick up a book (old books are best because they show the secret more) look at the book. Reading is optional (but recommended).
Do you have the secret? You don't even really need a book this will do.
Even though its short it still has the secret.
Look carefully but not too carefully because it's obvious and obvious things aren't obvious anymore when you look too hard.
A balancing act to be sure but if you find the secret you could try it too.
Now here's the big surprise (because there has to be a twist to the story or people won't think it's good and the secret won't get out) are you ready for it?
You don't need a book either. The secret is in other things but I won't list them because there's a lot of things and then the story would be too long and drag and you might miss the secret.
Less than eight-hundred words have the secret find it if you want.
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